The Family Screen Agreement: A Template Kids Will Actually Sign

TL;DR: A family screen agreement is a one-page set of device rules that parents and children write together, with reasons, promises from both sides and a review date. It works because children keep rules they helped write. Below: how to run the conversation, a template with three age versions (under 10, 10 to 13, 14 plus), the parents' promises, and what to do when the agreement is broken. Print it, fill it in together, sign it, stick it on the fridge.

Why a written agreement works better than rules

Most families already have screen rules. The trouble is that they live in someone's head, change with the parent's mood, and get renegotiated every evening. "You said one hour." "No, I said until dinner." "That was yesterday."

A written agreement solves three problems at once. It removes ambiguity, because the rule is on paper. It removes arbitrariness, because the reason is written next to it. And it changes ownership, because a child who helped write a rule is defending their own decision, not resisting yours.

It also does something subtler: it moves the conversation from "you against me" to "us against the design". Many of the apps your family uses are built to make stopping hard, as we explain in Dark Patterns, Explained. An agreement is the family deciding together where the stopping points are.

Before you write anything: the conversation

Set aside twenty minutes when nobody is tired or angry. Not straight after an argument about screens. A weekend afternoon works well.

1. Start with what is good. Ask each person what they like about their devices. Friends, games, music, learning, creating. Say out loud that the goal is to keep the good parts.
2. Name what goes wrong, without blame. "What makes it hard to stop?" "When do screens make you feel worse?" Adults answer too. Honesty from a parent ("I check work email at dinner and I don't like it") changes the tone instantly.
3. Explain the design. Tell children that many apps are designed to be hard to put down. This one sentence often lowers defensiveness more than anything else, because it takes the blame off them.
4. Write the rules together. Use the template below as a starting point, not a script. Let children propose rules. You will be surprised how strict some of their suggestions are.
5. Agree the review date. Nothing is forever. Knowing the agreement will be revisited makes it easier to accept.

If you want help with how to talk at different ages, Talking to Your Child About Device Rules has three sample conversations.

The template

Copy the version that fits your child's age. Replace everything in square brackets. Cross out what does not apply, and add what your family needs.

Version A: under 10

OUR FAMILY SCREEN AGREEMENT

Family: [family name] · Date: [date] · Review on: [date + 3 months]

WHEN

• Screens are for after [homework / lunch / school] and before [time].
• On school days: up to [amount] of games or videos. Weekends: [amount].
• No screens in the hour before bed.

WHERE

• Tablets and phones are used in the [living room / kitchen], not in bedrooms.
• Devices sleep at the charging spot in the [kitchen] at night.

WHAT

• I watch and play things we chose together. New apps and games: we ask first.
• Autoplay is off, so I choose the next video myself.

WHEN SOMETHING FEELS WRONG

• If I see something scary, strange or confusing, I tell a grown-up.
• I will NOT get in trouble for telling. Telling is always the right thing.

WE ALL PROMISE

• No phones or tablets at the dinner table, grown-ups too.

Signed: .............. (child) · .............. (parent) · .............. (parent)

Version B: 10 to 13

OUR FAMILY SCREEN AGREEMENT

Family: [family name] · Date: [date] · Review on: [date + 3 months]

WHEN

• School nights: phone off by [time]. Weekends: [time].
• Homework first, or during agreed breaks. Focus hours: [times].

WHERE

• Phones charge overnight at [place], outside bedrooms. Everyone's phone.
• No phones at meals.

APPS AND ACCOUNTS

• Before I download a new app or make a new account, we look at it together.
• Social apps: [which, from what age, with which privacy settings].
• Notifications are on only for messages from real people.
• Purchases need a parent's approval.

KINDNESS AND SAFETY

• I don't post photos of others without asking them.
• I don't share passwords, my address or my school with people I only know online.
• If I see something upsetting, or someone makes me uncomfortable, I tell a parent. I will NOT lose my phone for telling. We will sort it out together.

WHEN THINGS GO WRONG

• If I break a rule, we talk about why and fix what made it hard.
• Agreed consequence: [one small, specific consequence].

PARENTS PROMISE

• To put our own phones away at meals and at the times above.
• To ask before posting photos of you.
• To explain our reasons, and to listen to yours.

Signed: .............. (child) · .............. (parent) · .............. (parent)

Version C: 14 plus

OUR FAMILY SCREEN AGREEMENT

Family: [family name] · Date: [date] · Review on: [date + 6 months]

WHAT WE AGREE ON

• Sleep: phones charge outside bedrooms from [time] on school nights.
• Shared time: no phones at family meals, for anyone.
• Focus: during [exam period / homework hours] we use focus settings on [which services] and help each other stick to it.

YOUR SPACE

• Your messages are private. We will not read them.
• You decide your social accounts, with privacy settings we reviewed together.
• If we are worried, we will talk to you first, not check your phone behind your back.

YOUR PART

• Be honest with us if something online goes wrong: a scam, a threat, pressure to send photos, anything. You will NOT be punished for coming to us.
• Keep payments and subscriptions visible to us.

OUR PART

• The same meal and bedtime rules apply to us.
• We will ask before sharing anything about you online.
• We will review this with you, not for you, on the date above.

Signed: .............. (teen) · .............. (parent) · .............. (parent)

The one clause you should never leave out

Every version above contains a promise that telling a parent about something upsetting will not get the child punished. Keep it, whatever else you change.

The biggest risk online is not a child seeing something bad. It is a child seeing something bad and staying silent because they are afraid of losing their phone. A child who knows they can come to you is safer than any filter can make them.

When the agreement gets broken

It will. That is normal, and it is useful information.

• Treat it as a repair, not a trial. Ask what made the rule hard to keep. Often the answer points at the setup: the phone was in the bedroom "just for the alarm", or a notification pulled them back in.
• Fix the setup first. Buy a cheap alarm clock. Turn off the notification. Move the charger. Environment beats promises, which is the whole argument of It's Not a Willpower Problem.
• Use the consequence you agreed in advance. Small and specific works better than big and angry. Long confiscations mostly teach children to hide their use.
• Adults, too. If a parent breaks the meal rule, say so out loud and fix it. Few things build a child's trust in the agreement faster.

Making the agreement easier to keep

Paper sets the intention. The setup keeps it on a tired Tuesday.

• Put the charging spot where everyone passes it, and make it the only charger in the house at night.
• Switch off autoplay and non-human notifications on every device on the day you sign.
• Use device settings (Screen Time on Apple devices, Family Link on Android) for app limits and purchase approval.
• Put the "when" rules on a schedule the network can follow, so the agreed bedtime is not an argument each night.

For what is worth restricting at each age, see What to Block at 7, 11 and 15.

Where Guardino fits

Guardino can turn the "when" part of your agreement into something the house does by itself. It is a DNS service run by Guardino Technologies LLC in Wyoming, USA. You create a profile for each child, and on paid plans Mind Modes put calmer or stricter settings on a schedule: focus hours, bedtime, exam weeks. Mind Shield, included on every plan, refuses to resolve a curated list of domains behind engagement machinery where those run on their own domains.

It works through encrypted DNS on a per-profile address. It sees domain names, never messages or screens, and logging is off by default, which fits the "your messages are private" promise in Version C. It cannot see or change what happens inside an app, so it supports your agreement rather than replacing the conversation. See how it works for families.

There is a free plan with one profile and three devices. Family, with up to ten profiles, is $4.99 a month; your first paid subscription starts with a 14-day trial.

FAQ

What is a family screen agreement? A short written set of device rules that parents and children agree together, with reasons, a review date and promises from both sides.

At what age should we make a screen agreement? As soon as a child has regular access to a device. Younger children need a few concrete rules; teenagers need fewer rules, more reasons and a real say.

What should happen when someone breaks the agreement? Treat it as a repair: talk about what made it hard, fix the setup, and use one small consequence agreed in advance.

Should parents follow the agreement too? Yes. Rules for shared spaces, like meals and bedrooms, should apply to everyone.

How often should we review it? Every three to six months, and whenever something changes. Put the review date on the agreement itself.

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